Satire: Family Man ‘Totally Cool’ With Missing Super Ball IX [The First Set]

“Who needs that nervous feeling; waiting for the band to take the stage?” he said when he returned to the grill. “The butterflies in your stomach. Calling the opener with your friends as the low clouds roll over the vast concert fields,” said Feder, flipping a burger on the grill as his son squirted him dead in the eye with a Kool-Aid-filled Super Soaker. “Those were the days.”

“I love you dear,” said his wife.

“Seeing that Ferris wheel light up the country sky as the wandering notes of a sustained Reba waft over the crowd and mingle with the smoke emanating from the vendors’ stands,” he said, as his children chased a squirrel up a tree.

“Yeah, but you’re here now, right dear?” remarked his wife.

“Of course I am honey,” he said.

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